My Sons Say and Do the Darndest Things

Everyone’s kids do. I tend to transcribe conversations to my Facebook page. I thought I’d share a few here.

Sebastian is 4 and Pieter is 3. Steve is my husband.


The boys woke up from their naps and I let them have 1 piece of candy each.
Sebastian chose one and handed it to me demanding, “OPEN IT!”
I gave him the “teacher eye” and he knew what I meant right away.
I gave him a big smile and opened his wrapper.
Sebastian got this look of annoyance and said, “Use your words, Mommy.”
Touche, kid.


Pieter was looking at the farm animal magnets on the fridge.
“Wow, Mommy, cows have a lot of penises.”
I pulled a Scooby for a moment before I realized what he was talking about. “Those are actually the cow’s boobies. I understand why you thought they were penises. It sort of looks like they’re in the spot where a penis goes. They’re called udders on a cow.”
And then we practiced saying the word udder for quite a while.


A moment after good – morning hugs:
SEBASTIAN: Last night I was thinking a lot about sausage. Can I eat some sausage today?
ME: Why, yes! We just happen to have sausage. Let’s make it for lunch.
SEBASTIAN: Mommy, what’s sausage?


STEVE: I missed you guys!
SEBASTIAN: [Asked something I didn’t hear]
STEVE: You had Mommy snuggles, brother snuggles, and Brianna (babysitter) snuggles.
SEBASTIAN: But you had snuggles from airport guys.
STEVE: NO. I don’t snuggle with airport guys.


Getting ready one morning…
ME: Pieter, I need to promise you a bath today–no ands, ifs, or buts.
PIETER: Mommy, don’t say butt.
ME: Okay. No ands, ifs, or other prepositions. Is that okay?

Pieter nodded.

I guess I don’t know a preposition from a conjunction that early in the morning. Let’s hope my flubs are forgotten by the time he needs to label parts of speech!



Pieter got “new” hand me down boots. He didn’t them off until…
ME: Pieter, take your boots off the couch. A good cowboy always listens to his mom.
I turned my back for a sec and when I looked back, he’d put the boots on his hands.
PIETER: Mommy, they aren’t boots anymore. See?!


All of those conversations occurred in January 2016. Let’s see what February brings!